Let Me Live My Own Life
Riya came running to her grandmother, “Grandma, Did you make my special chocolate cake?”
“Oh! Riya I am sorry. I am very tired today. I will make it tomorrow.”
Devang was listening to the conversation. When his wife Ambika took Riya to another room he couldn’t control his anger, “Why do you always make her weep? After all, she is your granddaughter.”
“Mrs Sharma’s daughter-in-law is having eighth month of her pregnancy and she needed my help so I went to her. Now she is feeling better. I will bake a cake for Riya tomorrow.”
“Mom, you live with us. We are your family and we should be your priority. But you are more concerned about neighbours and friends. Don’t we have any value for you?”
Mrs Singh was petrified. She wanted to say, “I am busy in looking after Riya and the household chores. I try to make you happy but it seems that you are still not satisfied.” But she kept mum because she knew her son would not understand and he would start arguing loudly. She didn’t want Riya to listen to such heated arguments. She spent the whole day fulfilling everyone’s wishes but her son and daughter would never say a word of praise. Her son was unaware of her need for recognition and appreciation.
Her daughter-in-law, Ambika- a working woman, remained in her office till late evening. She held a high profile job and was always busy with her meetings and conferences. She usually came late from the office and expected her mother –in-law to keep the house spic and span. She would call her bosses and colleagues every now and then and expected Mrs Singh to prepare dinner for everyone. She would prepare a long list of items to be cooked. Mrs. Singh loved to cooking every item but her son and daughter-in-law would never thank her or feel happy. In spite of her hard work they criticised her and made her feel guilty. The more she tried to please them, the more they became angry. All her efforts were ignored by her son who was always shouting at her.
There was an orphanage near her society. There were fifty disabled children in that orphanage. She had made it a habit to go there and spend some time with those lonely children. She felt as if her own loneliness lessened when she heard childish replies of those innocent children. She used to get overwhelmed when they waited for her and showed their happiness on seeing her but this was also not acceptable to her son.
Whenever she visited the orphanage she felt happy as if a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. There was a blind girl Punnu almost of the same age as Riya. She loved her very much and Punnu also felt elated whenever Mrs Singh went there.
Next Sunday was her birthday and Mrs Singh promised Punnu that she would prepare her favourite dish, coconut laddus for her birthday. Punnu smiled and embraced her. Mrs. Singh was in the seventh heaven of joy. She always became very emotional whenever these children showed their love and affection for her
On Sunday morning Devang said to her mother, “Mom, I have invited my friends for dinner and all of them want to eat your special chhola puri and coconut laddus. Mrs. Singh wanted to say that she would not be home on Sunday but she kept quiet knowing that as usual her son would shout at her and create a scene. She decided that she would go to the orphanage in the morning and prepare dinner in the evening.
On Sunday she could not go in the morning because some relatives came and she had to prepare lunch for them. Devang came to the kitchen where she was preparing lunch and he saw the laddus. He said, “Oh! You have already made laddus for the evening.”
“But…”
Devang walked away before she could complete her sentence. She looked at the laddus and remembered Punnu the blind girl. She thought she would go to the orphanage in the afternoon and take some laddus for her. She went to orphanage and was told that Punnu fell from the stairs and was badly hurt. Mrs Singh was so upset that she forgot everything else and took her to the hospital After Punnu was treated by the doctor she wanted to come back to prepare dinner for Devang’s friends but Punnu held her hand and would not let her go . When Mrs Singh snatched her hand she started weeping. Mrs Singh was so upset to see her in pain that she stayed in the hospital. She called her Daughter-in-law, “Ambika, I am in the hospital and can’t come soon. Will you please prepare dinner for the evening?”
Ambika lost her temper, “What are you saying mom? I have to complete a project and tomorrow is the presentation. I have to work on it for two hours at least. If you had told me in the morning I would have done it but now I can’t waste my time in preparing dinner. You don’t worry. I will tell Devang to order dinner.”
Mrs Singh took a sigh of relief. She held Punnu’s hand and looked after her but her relief was short lived. After ten minutes her mobile rang, “What is this nonsense? I told you yesterday about the Sunday party. Now don’t make excuses and come home immediately. My friends want to have dinner at home but you don’t care for us. We have no value for you.”
Mrs Singh was on the horns of a dilemma. What should she do now? Punnu was weeping and was in agony. Mrs Singh wanted to hold her hand and talk to her so that she would forget her pain.
After ten minutes her mobile rang again, “Mom, Are you coming?. Ambika is busy and she can’t help. You have to do everything”
“I will be back in an hour. It is still 5 O’ clock. Don’t worry. I will prepare everything before 8 O’ clock.”
“Why are you so careless? Why did you go to orphanage today? You are worried about everyone except your own family. You are a grand- mother but you have no sense of responsibility. Now you are becoming more and more irresponsible day by day. Come immediately.”
Mrs Singh had no choice. She left Punnu crying but her heart was weeping. She should have some freedom at this age but unfortunately she couldn’t resign from the post of a caretaker of her son’s family. It was not the first time. She had faced the same trauma time and again.
Last month the same thing happened. The orphanage had organised a picnic for the children and Mrs. Singh opted for preparing snacks for the children. They were supposed to come back at 5pm but the bus broke down on the way and she returned home at 8 pm. Her daughter Natasha sometimes came to meet her. She was also a working woman and except Sunday she couldn’t come to meet her mother.
As soon as she entered her daughter started shouting, “Mom, your son-in-law wanted to go to a movie and dinner and I told him I would come soon after meeting you. Now you have spoiled our plan and he would be very angry with me.” Mrs Singh said, “I didn’t know you were coming otherwise I would not have gone for the picnic. It is not my fault. Two tyre burst and it took time to arrange two tyres.”
Before she finished blaming her mother Devang started, “She has never cared for the family. She is always busy in her social work. She doesn’t understand that our happiness should be more important to her than her social work.”
Ambika didn’t say anything but her indignation was quite visible. She went down the memory lane and recollected the time of their childhood. She wanted to tell her son Devang, “Your father left us for some other woman and I was all alone. There was no one in the family to support us. I had to take up a job in a school but I never complained. It was so difficult to bring two children all alone. I faced a lot of problems but provided all necessary things for both of you. I worked hard and tried my level best to keep you happy. You can’t realise how difficult it was for me to earn a livelihood and take care of two children. I devoted my whole life in looking after you and giving you education so that both of you can live a decent life. I carried out all responsibilities with a smile because I didn’t want you to feel the absence of your father. ”
Mrs Singh knew that her son and daughter would say, “It was your duty. All parents do it for their children.” They will never understand how difficult it was for a single mother. Her sacrifices have no value for her children. Sometimes she wants to tell them ‘let me live my own life. I am also a human being and deserve some recognition and appreciation.’
Sushma Chaudhary
Indore, India
